It’s extraordinary how debilitating fear and self doubt can be.
Those who know me knows that I am not half as opinionated, obnoxious and confident as many would believe. In fact, when I tell folks that I am painstakingly shy they find it hard to fathom…. Verging on ridiculous.
But that in itself is one of my greatest fears I face, that someone might see through me and read me as a pushover.
This new fear is the one of disappointment. The outpouring towards my chosen charity BodyWhys.ie has been overwhelming, their support phenomenal and hence the fear that I might fail them has become gut churning.
I am exhausted…. Not from work or walking, but from a pitted knot in my stomach that I might fail. And not only fail them, but fail myself.
The hardest thing in the world is sometimes to forgive ourselves in advance. So tonight, I am saying to me:
“What’s the worst that can happen?”
You could break a leg. Cramp. Blister. The list goes on.
But I sure is going to give it my best, and in the end that is all we can do. Our very and most determined best.