Posted in An Trek Fada

-3 Days – Fear


It’s extraordinary how debilitating fear and self doubt can be.

Those who know me knows that I am not half as opinionated, obnoxious and confident as many would believe. In fact, when I tell folks that I am painstakingly shy they find it hard to fathom…. Verging on ridiculous.

But that in itself is one of my greatest fears I face, that someone might see through me and read me as a pushover.

This new fear is the one of disappointment. The outpouring towards my chosen charity has been overwhelming, their support phenomenal and hence the fear that I might fail them has become gut churning.

I am exhausted…. Not from work or walking, but from a pitted knot in my stomach that I might fail. And not only fail them, but fail myself.

The hardest thing in the world is sometimes to forgive ourselves in advance. So tonight, I am saying to me:

“What’s the worst that can happen?”
You could break a leg. Cramp. Blister. The list goes on.

But I sure is going to give it my best, and in the end that is all we can do. Our very and most determined best.

3 thoughts on “-3 Days – Fear

  1. I think your great, brave, thoughtful and sure to succeed in “An Trek Fada”, Best of luck, loosen the knot in that tummy and enjoy

  2. Oh B-M – your blog today really touched my heart. I have known you to be many things – Mother, Daughter, Singer, Musician, DJ, Entertainer, Boss, Comedian, Manager, Friend, among others, but a failure has never been one of them. Whatever you do, you will do with your usual grace and skill and unfailing good humour and no matter what happens, I will curtsey low, take my hat off to you and say that I am so proud of you and of EVERYTHING that you have achieved. Love you lots! Ruan

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