At what stage of the past 40 years did it become fashionable for women to be considered super? Was it not enough that we burnt bras and suffered jets? Who of the female kind decided that we cannot be sick like a man? Why did we fight for equality in the first place?
I woke up this morning with a throat that felt like a fine parmesan grater had rhythmically gnawed at me the whole night. My nose bunged up enough that not even fully pressurised fire hoses could open it, and a head that feels like a whole harvest of Fairtrade cotton has been sorted in my brain’s every cell. I’m sick.
I am torn not with guilt, but extreme self-pity for this dastardly situation, and visions of lying on the beach became as much of a reality as Met Éireann finally predicting the right weather forecast.
I have manflu – there, I said it. I am DYING, and no one has EVER felt this bad. And for all those fellow sisters that feel I am letting the side down? Get over it. Be honest in your equality, and the next time you feel this lousy – embrace it and suffer loudly and lethargically.
My only advice? Make sure you have the right man in your life, and you, like me could be waited on hand and foot, served like a queen, and can do no wrong for one day, and most importantly – forgives you your every grump and groan.
Thanks Florence – I love you to bits!
P.S. Now that was till he suggested he gets me a bell to ring….. like in an old age home. Mmmm, the ice is thin!
P.P.S. Did I mention that I have lost 16 pounds thus far??? Yip – just so you remember this is about the 40.40 Challenge!